188. You Can't Raise Good Kids Until You Do This First | Dr. Shefali Tsabary

188. You Can't Raise Good Kids Until You Do This First | Dr. Shefali Tsabary

 

What if the most important child you'll ever raise is you?

In this eye-opening episode of The Big Silence, Karena Dawn sits down with New York Times bestselling author and clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary — the pioneer of the conscious parenting movement — to explore why healing yourself is the most radical act of love you can give to your children, your relationships, and yourself.

How do we stop unconsciously passing our unhealed wounds onto the people we love most?

The path to conscious parenting begins not with your child — but with you.

(00:23) From Psychologist to Conscious Parent: The Origin Story

●     Why Dr. Shefali's work applies to anyone who has ever had a parent

●     Her journey from clinical psychology to meditation to motherhood

●     How unhealed childhood baggage gets projected onto the people we love most

(06:55) Triggers, Boundaries & Breaking the Cycle

●     Why nothing outside of you is truly the trigger, only the match

●     Why real boundaries are internal actions, not instructions to other people

●     The three-step path forward: awareness, acceptance, action

(11:12) Screens, Mental Health & the Disconnection Crisis

●     “Screens are the worst thing to happen to children."

●     Anxiety in girls has doubled; suicidality in boys is at an all-time high

●     The real culprit: Overstimulation and disconnection from the present moment

●     Connection is the antidote to all emotional disease

(15:10) Control, Happiness & the Wake-Up Call We're All Avoiding

●     Why the need to control comes from having been controlled in childhood

●     The numbing epidemic: Netflix, dead-end relationships

●     What it takes to honestly say "I don't like my life"

●     How compliance in children (and adults) leads to eventual breakdown

(23:11) Role Reversal, Self-Love & the Books That Can Change Your Life

●     A community question on growing up as the caretaker and what happens when you need care

●     Karena shares her painful experience as her mother's caretaker in her final five years

●     Dr. Shefali's truth: "No one can love us the way we need — that's everyone's ultimate lesson."

Guest Resources

●     Visit Dr. Shefali's website

●     Get a 30-day free pass to Dr. Shefali's community! Email her office and mention The Big Silence

●     Order her books

●     Follow her on Instagram

If this episode moved you, please consider supporting The Big Silence Foundation and exploring our resources:

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WE ARE HERE TO BREAK THE SILENCE, TO BE A RESOURCE AND TO SUPPORT CULTURAL CHANGE IN MENTAL HEALTH.

The mental health foundation was founded in 2021 by Karena Dawn, a wellness entrepreneur and leading mental health advocate, based on her experiences growing up in a family impacted by mental illness (shared in her memoir, The Big Silence). It’s our goal to support people’s mental health journey from childhood to adult and to create a more joyful and loving place. 

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Founder Karena Dawn shares her personal story in The Big Silence: A Daughter's Memoir of Mental Illness and Healing, shining a light on the eternal struggle we all share—how to move past the pain and suffering of our personal battles to experience life’s joys.